I do want to forgive and forget. I am so tired of this disappointment. But how can I ever heal my wound? How can I ever forgive? If I always see they still do the same thing again and again.
I always tried to accept and think straight about what happen to me. I tried to deal with the situation. I tried to open the door. I tried to establish the trust.
But all my trust break very easily when all they can is just judging and disgracing. My disappointment is always coming back.
What makes it even more painful is they who mock are my best friends. We used to be good friends. I have been a good friend for them. Why do they now hate me so much? I never did bad thing to them.
How can I ever heal from this resentment if they degrade me all the time, blame me for the thing that I never know why.
And my anger accumulates to know that they are all hypocrites. I know how they always make jokes to make fun and degrade women, being sexists, and dirty-minded. Now they think they are great just because they are straigh-sexually oriented? And now they think they are much better than homosexuals.
Just tell me how do I ever heal if I still live amongst those ignorant bigots?
