My Best Friend

Malang, 31 December 2017

My teacher, my really good friend (right) was with my mom (left). She was visiting me after I got hospitalised because of my liver illness.

Now she has gone after I posted my protest to discrimination to homosexual. She didn't agree with my post. She was upset because I support homosexuals. She thinks I have insulted her religion.

We are no longer talking to each other. I am super sad about this. How can someone just unfriend her best friend just because she hates homosexual. Religion has made someone irrational. In this case, religion has successfully created hatred and disintegration. No wonder, in many nations, religion has caused a lot of wars.

An Old Friend

Malang, 31 December 2017

Yesterday I met an old friend. We were classmates in the kindergarten. Yesterday he rode his motorbike with his kid. I was so happy to talk to him again. The first smalltalk he said to me was "where's your kid? Have you been married? You've been mature, how could you be not married yet?". My happiness suddenly turned into a disappointment.

They never know how it feels to be judged like that. They never know how hard for me even just to find the attraction to a woman. For straight people, they never heard about this problem. Attraction to opposite gender is something fully gifted to them. Therefore, it makes them forget about other people's condition. They only assume that sexual orientation is always be to opposite gender.  In fact, it is not the case. If they find otherwise, they will judge it.

I am super sad. I hate this world. They all are hypocritical. I never did anything bad to them. I have been a good friend for them. But they are all so cruel. This world is so cruel for me. I hate to be here. I hate to live. God, why did you create me like this? Just.kill.me.now.

My Best Friends Are Homophobic

Malang, 30 December 2017

I am so sad to know that more and more of my best friends express their hate to homosexuals. They never know how it feels to grow as homosexual, to struggle myself to fit in the society, yet to hear slanders accused to homosexuals. I never chose to be a homosexual. I never know how or why.

Don't they know they have been opressing homosexuals? Heterosexuals should be grateful to grow as heterosexuals. They do not need to "learn" how to be sexually aroused by opposite gender. They have been claiming themselves as superior. They have opressed homosexuals' rights without they realise. When I tell it to them, they are denying as if they know everything.

The only argument they have is based on their religion. But from there, they try to justify every slander they accuse to homosexuals. I have been hiding my homosexuality, trying to "fix" it alone, breaking my heart and others' heart so many times, and hearing every slander they accuse everyday. Now knowing that they hate me, I feel even more disappointed and depressed.

How they have been opressed homosexuals actually makes homosexuals' life even worsen. We live our homosexual life backstreet-ly because people always stigmatise our sexual orientation. It makes our life and love relationship even more complicated, depressed and unhealthy. But it is us to be blamed for the situation resulted.

I am so sad. I wish my friends look back all their hurting words they have been accused to me. I have been their good friends. But why do they hate me just because I am a gay, that I myself never chose to be? I feel so deceived. I feel so rejected. I am super sad and super disappointed. I have been lonely with my condition and now I am getting even lonelier.

Denial Hypocrites

Malang, 29 December 2017

I saw someone commented on someone else's post like this:

Then, I posted a status based on that comment:

And some people who were "baited" were commenting to my post:

It is so funny that I didn't mention any particular religion but they are triggered as if their religion is being attacked.

It is so obvious that they are feeling uneasy with my post because they are all denial. It is so obvious from their comments that they try to justify what I just said about them.

And also, they have been acting as a "god" by defining what other religions' sins are including. They have been unconsciously limiting the options of religion can be chosen and what those religions can cover about.

Probably, there is no yet two religions which have equal power to fight each other. But what we have now is one majority that often opresses minorities merely based on majority's belief, let's say about homosexuality.

Even within one same religion, the people often cannot agree among themselves. It is so hard to tell whose interpretation about their religion are the rightest one. Since they are within the same religion, the tension of intoleration is actually much stronger.

People in each sub-group of a religion think they have the rightest interpretation thus they are the most deserving to claim the religion. And, since other sub-groups are considered wrong to be "that religion", the one who thinks they are right may fight the other sub-groups. It happens to Shia, Ahmaddiyya, and so.

What I wrote on my post was just a simple illustration, but it actually means much wider than what it is literally written. Can those denial hypocrites understand about this logic? Absolutely no. They are used to judge other people based on their interpretation, literally. That's why I said it is so obvious from their comments that they are denial hypocrites.

When Public Governance Turns Religious (Only for One Particular Religion)

Malang, 29 December 2017

Source: 

https://m.detik.com/news/berita/d-3789712/alasan-syariat-islam-pemkab-di-gorontalo-larang-perayaan-tahun-baru?utm_medium=oa&utm_campaign=detikcomsocmed&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=detikcom

I can never understand why do these people always try to enforce their own religion's rules to other people. Indonesia is a secular country not a religion-based country. Religion is supposed to be a personal business.

Why do they like to apply Islamic sharia for public governance? Which Islam? Is it Islam based on their own interpretation? They have closed the possibilities to allow other perspective in practicing the religion, which is supposed to be a fully personal right. They have acted as a god already. How dictatorial and how intolerant!

Being religious does not guarantee them to be a good person. Being irreligious does not mean the person is bad. Good or bad in social life is supposed to be regulated by state's laws, NOT by someone else's religion. Whether he's a theist or an atheist, he is punishable if he contravene the law, NOT the other's religion!

Religious Slanders

Malang, 29 December 2017

So, his comment on my post is firmly confirming how blinded someone can be when they have been so hating other groups merely because of what their religion tell them so. They put aside their brain to deliberate all the rational aspects, unless their faith will be questionable.

It is so funny and looks so stupid to proudly show how radical they practice their religion. They clearly state LGBT deserve death punishment. But to justify their reasoning, they make false claiming about LGBT. They slander LGBT just to match their religion's codes. And they don't feel ashamed or guilty for doing that. They might feel they have been the best person on earth for obeying their god's words.

How many slanders and hoaxes do they need to comfort them with their faith?

Slanders and misleading information are not only used to justify their hate to LGBT. This kind of "reasoning matching" is also used to justify their hate to other groups of religion (let's say Christians and Jews), or even to haram things (such as haram to eat pork, haram to pet dogs). To them, forbidden is forbidden and haram is haram. It is all about black and white, and there is no space for black to be white or white to be black. It is un-revise-able constitution. Therefore, they hardly look for any claims to justify it, even if the claims are totally wrong.

LGBT in Usyd

Malang, 28 December 2017

I just visited my dentist for regular check up for my braces. She asked me about whether there is LGBT in my campus in Australia.

She (s): is there any LGBT in your campus?

Me (m): yes there is, actually a lot. Campus is also officially supporting LGBT. Australia has just recently passed the bill for marriage equality.

(s): so did you see a man is hugging another man in public?

(m): yes, I did. It is actually quite common.

(S): wow, how disgusting that is. Have u been teased by them?

(m): no, never. Sexual harassment is a serious crime in Australia.

Now, you can see the difference between Indonesian bigots and Australians.

Indonesian bigots are prejudicing homosexuals for the things they never do. Those bigosts criminalise homosexuals all is based on their own prejudices.

Meanwhile in Australia, despite people are fully support the freedom of sexual relationship, they highly respect personal rights. I have written about anti sexual harassment campaign in my blog here.

Some Indonesians are trying to jail homosexuals because they merely believe that homosexuals are bad. That's so judgmental dan discriminative. Rather, they forget that heterosexuals can be as bad as what they accuse to homosexuals too. They are so hypocritical.

While Australians never mind about someone's sexual orientations. Whether he is a homosexual or a heterosexual, he'll be jailed for his criminal offense, NOT for his sexual orientation. That's how the logic is supposed to be!

Shithole

Malang, 28 December 2017

They say homosexuals are shithole lovers. That's how they degrade and disgrace us. But they don't self-reflect themselves. Don't they know how nasty the vagina is? It is the hole for dirty period and urine excretion. Or may I call them nasty vagina lickers? And also, they like to fuck women's anus as well in porn. What a hyprocritical bigots.

That's all they can argue, everything is only about sex and crotch. That reflects what they only have in their brain: sex, sex, sex, and nothing more than that.

What If My Ex-GF Finally Know I am A Gay

Malang, 25 December 2017

In my attempt to "cure" my homosexuality, I have asked few girls to be my girlfriend, or faked my love to them. I have written this story in my previous post here.

Now, I have decided to accept myself as it is after all of my attempts failed and broke so many hearts. I just don't wanna hurt my heart and other people's heart anymore. It does really hurt.

Then, what if the girls whom I approached or who was my girlfriends finally know that I am a gay or they know I was lying about my feeling to them?

This is something that haunts me since so long. I always feel guilty whenever I "lied" to them. It does really break my heart. It makes me traumatised.

I wished there was a girl who honestly loves me, and fully accepts me as I am, who was devoted enough to teach me how to love a woman. But do you think that such girl does even exist?

So, If they get angry after reading this post or reading my blog, I will accept it since I really was guilty and I deserve it.

But, I become like this now also because of them. If only they never left me. If only they could "cure" me. But again, do I really deserve to beg such this condition?

I know, me, homosexuals are destined to be judged guilty by straights, whether we "fake (make up)" the love to a woman or we honest to ourselves not to love (a.k.a not to lie to)" a woman. We are god's spoiled products. I just can't believe god can make mistake by creating defective products. Straights are perfectly flawless god's creations, thus they can judge us anytime they want.

Mom's Embrace

Malang, 25 December 2017

Last night, my mom stayed overnight in my house. We planned to have a morning walk in my neighbourhood. So that's why I asked her to sleep in my house.

Whenever I am feeling depressed and down, I always think about my mom. I always feel safe and warm when she hugs me. It feels like I am back into a toddler again. Just like a toddler, whenever I am afraid of something, I hide under her arms. They give me protection and calm my fear.

Homophobic Parents

Malang, 25 December 2017

I understand that homosexual is every parents' fear. They are never willing their kids to grow as homosexuals. Therefore, they are trying to protect their kids from the influence of homosexual life.

However, they forget that homosexual exists naturally in every species. Homosexual is not spreaded like contagious disease. No kid can predict whether they are gonna grow as homosexual or heterosexual.

Homophobic parents seem rational with their arguments. But what if their kids are actually homosexuals? Will they accept it? And homophobic environment indeed causes depression to homosexual kids like me.

My argument seems like I am trying to spread propaganda to accept homosexual. But what I said is all true since I am who grew and live with the homosexuality.

Did I know I was gonna grow as homosexual? Do you think that I intentionally chose myself to be a gay? Who teaches someone to be sexually attracted with opposite gender? Do you think I never tried to be "straight" as you wish? Do you think I had a good time going through this condition? And when the thing remains the same, does it make me a bad boy?

Dear parents, family, and friends, your homophobia does really depress us. We are lonely hiding it. We never tell it because we are afraid to be disappointed of your judgments. And we are even more getting depressed to accept discrimiation, judgement, disgrace, slander and countless hurting words we often hear around us.

Just Accuse Me Till I Am Feeling Worthless

Malang, 24 December 2017

You disgrace me. And then you slander me. And then you accuse me. And then you think you have enough justification to kill me. Hell yeah, you have become the god who knows everything and has a right to punish me.

People like me have no place to live except to be an object of your abusive religious bullies.

You tell me I deliberately choose to be a gay, but you never know the wound I have made trying to be a straight.

You tell me I am disgusting for following un-natural sexual desire. Now tell me who taught me to be like this? Now how do you explain how are you allowed to have four wives in this world and seventy two virgins in heaven? Who is more sexually-driven?

You tell me I am a sexual predator but have I done that? Do you think I cannot control my sexual desire? Do you think human can easily change their sexual orientation? If only getting sexually attracted to opposite-sex as easy as your statement, I would have gotten married by now.

You tell me I am spreading sexually-transmitted diseases, but let the statistic tells who gets more infections, homosexuals or heterosexuals?

You have accused me this and that. I am fine. If that can make you happy. If that can make you feel better. If that can make you feel closer to your god. If that can make you a saint.

Now you can just kill me. I am just a useless creature. I am a whore, dirty slut as you accuse. Just disgrace me till I feel worthless. You are always right. I am worthless.

Prejudices by Some Muslims

Malang, 24 December 2017

Here are some prejudices that I often hear from some of my Muslim friends:

1. Kafir = bad person.

I have heard some of my friends say "I just knew he is not a Muslim. But how can he be so kind?".

This statement implies that, in general, a Muslim must be a good person, and a non-Muslim is assumed not a good person.

This logic emerges since the definition of an ideal good person must be a Muslim, while a non-muslim must be a sinner.

The definition of "ultimate good" itself is strictly limited to "Islam". Thus, other religions are perceived to be "imperfect good".

2. Homosexual = bad person

I have very very often heard "I just knew he is a homosexual. But he is very kind. His kindness is just to conceal his wickedness".

This statement very straightforwardly judges a homosexual must be a bad person.

This opinion emerges from the faith of Islam that homosexual is strictly forbidden and condemned by the god. So, the definition of good or bad in here is clear-cut.

This religious doctrine influences them in further deliberations. They outweigh the stigmas that homosexual is a contagious disease, homosexual is a sexual predator, and homosexual is the source of sexually transmitted diseases, despite all those generalisations are not true.

So no matter how genuinely good or kind-hearted the person is, and no matter how healthy his sexual relationship is, a homosexual is always considered to be a bad, dirty person.

Is There Really Not Any Coercion in Islam?

Malang, 24 December 2017

Some Muslims have a very weak faith. Because of that, they force other people to "respect" their faith so that their faith won't get eroded. The form of "respect" in here is enforcement, oppression, and presecution to other people to follow their rules.

Firstly, in every Ramadhan (fasting-month), they don't allow any food stalls and restaurants to open during the day. They argue it is to respect Muslims who are fasting. They also claim that opening the food stalls and restaurants means supporting cheated Muslims who don't want to fast.

However, practicing religion is a personal business. Moreover, the order to close the shop is an oppression to the shop owners and to the other people who don't fast. What are their rights to force the other people to follow their rules?

Secondly, other religions (except Islam) are (usually) not allowed to have a religious activity in their neighbourhood. Meanwhile Muslims can freely have "pengajian" (Quran Recital/ Lecture) in their neighbourhood, but not with other religions.

They say, other religions may have a hidden agenda to spread their faith to Muslims. They are afraid that some Muslims will be influenced and will convert their faith into other religions.

Thirdly, some Muslims are trying so hardly to banish the other perspective of life. They don't like other people to drink alcohol, they don't like other people to live together without any marriage relationship, and they don't like other people to have same-sex relationship.

They are afraid their kids will be dragged into such way of life. Therefore, they blame those people and they try to get rid of them by prosecuting them.

What I see is that their faith is so fragile. Instead of finding the reasons to strengthen their own faith, they prefer to oppress other people's beliefs. They don't want other people's beliefs erode their faith.

Having a faith is supposed to be a very personal choice. Everyone should have their own decision. But this rule does not apply for Muslims. Muslims should keep their eyes on other Muslims (especially to their family members) and make sure if they don't lose faith. That's why they enforce their religious rules harshly and enforcefully.

When I was a kid, Islam was internalised very strictly to me, by my father as well as by my environment. I didn't have any choice to fairly consider other faith to follow. I was indoctrinated that Islam is perfect and has no fault. Opting out from Islam is a huge mistake and unforgiveable sin.

If Muslims are honest to themselves and widely open the chance to their members to choose whatever faith they genuinely believe without any oppression or judgment, I strongly believe that not all Muslims are really sure about their current faith. 

However, the current Islam makes impossible for them to opt out from Islam. Islam is designed so that their members can't run away or consider other faiths. They say there is no coercion in choosing Islam, but the facts say differently.

Why Do They Try To Enforce Their Belief To Other People?

Malang, 23 December 2017

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bc9caOhBig5/

Why do some Muslims try so hard to enforce their belief to other people? Because they believe if they let other people make the sins, the god will punish the entire population with natural disasters.

Is the god really this psychopathic? Does he really want them to punish other people, otherwise he will punish the entire population by himself?

Does it sound so scary? Does it sound like a terrorism brainwashing? 

That's it. That's what is happening right now. Other people must obey to their rule because they don't wanna their god punishes them.

They believe LGBT is a contagious disease. They believe homosexuals are threatening their next generations. They believe letting homosexuals to exist will lead to god's anger.

They don't wanna that to happen. So, everyone must obey their rules.

What if I have different point of views about anything they believe. What if I believe drinking alcohol responsibly is okay. What if I believe sex before marriage is a personal business. What if I believe homosexuals have the same rights as heterosexuals do.

Those people and me can never agree on what we believe. So, letting each of us to do what we believe without interfering each other is the solution.

But no! They can't let me do the things they believe their god will get angry about. So, now you see the problem, don't you?

*Anyway, I have a critique for the illustration on the link above. It does not explain why do some bolts want to be with bolts and some nuts want to be with nuts. The illustration simply assumes they do it just for fun. In fact, that's not the case in LGBT. So, the illustration fails and is irrelevant. They'd better do research before judging us.

And what about a bolt that has four nuts? What a perfect hypocrisy when the lust is concealed with religion. Lol.

When People Unloved Me

Malang, 23 December 2017

I live surrounded by people think I am a good boy. Yes, I am a good boy.

I was loved by many people because of that. All my teachers loved me as a good boy. Some of them have treated me as their own son. They are all so kind to me.

But I know that they hate LGBT so much. I know they are very religious in practicing their faith.

Meanwhile, I knew that I grew up differently. It depressed me. I faked myself all the time to meet their expectation. There is an endless conflict in my heart.

I never come out because I am afraid to be lonely, unloved, hated, and rejected. I have been lonely with my depression.

Now what I am afraid of has become a reality. I see how they change into different person just because I am (pro) homosexual. What if they know if I am the homosexual?

Now I am feeling super upset and disappointed. I have lost my faith to anything. I am so sad and disappointed.

I have been fighting with my own situation and with my environment all the time without they realise it. They don't know about it. All they can do is just judging based on sexual orientation: good or bad, right or wrong.

If only they know how it feels to grow up this way, to deal with the situation, to accept disgrace and to fake myself. I am not me anymore. I don't know who I am. Why would I be born? I feel so useless.

It is Me Not You

Malang, 23 December 2017

It is me who is mocked, ridiculed, judged, oppressed, degraded, stigmatised, discriminated and threatened. How can now they claim they are victimised???

Do I deserve to be angry, disappointed, and lose my faith? I'm sick and tired of it.

Indonesia Has Been a Dangerous Place for Homosexuals

Malang, 23 December 2017

Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1587495751289904&id=100000884825300

Indonesia has been a dangerous place for homosexuals but has been a triving place for religious hypocrites.

Any comments? Let's blame, judge, oppress, and punish homosexuals because our holy glory religion tells us to do so! Hell yeah! Don't you ever ask why. Never ever listen to their human rights or rational defences!  Religious faith never needs rational thought. They don't deserve to live! Oh my lord, we are praising for you.

Fuck off I'm sick with my people. Now you can kill me so you'll feel better with your shit.

Dear My Teacher

Malang, 23 December 2017

Dear my teacher,

You've been so kind to me. I've been considering you as my mother. But, this is what I am afraid of knowing the reality to come out as a gay.

Am I a bad boy? Did I do all the things you accuse? 

If only you know how depressing it is to have a situation like mine. I have no support from the environment, get rejection and mockery, threatened, and judged.

It is not something I could choose or change. If only you know how heart breaking the attempt to be "normal" is. I have been trying since I grew up until I almost crazy.

Knowing everyone that I love turns to hate me makes me even depressed.

Just.Kill.Me.Now

Malang, 23 December 2017

Yeah, just.kill.me.now 😭😭😭

Support From Friends

Malang, 22 December 2017

I just woke up after feeling tired with the depression. I felt a massive weight pushing down my chest. I hardly breathed.

I woke up with a light feeling. The  suddenly I felt very stupid with what I just did. I am not sure whether what I just did was right. I was so confused.

Probably I didn't think straight and I was controlled by my anger. I was overwhelmed by disappointment after reading hateful anti-LGBT postings from my friends. Until I forgot that I have more supportive friends than degrading friends.

Now I am feeling so bad for being mad and ranting randomly. Eventhough I didn't mean to blame the religion but the persons, I might say bad things, probably to my supportive friends as well.

Now I would say a huge thank to them for supporting me. I am feeling ashamed to myself for being selfish and narrow-minded. I should not only focus on my anger. I should see the other bright side of the world. 

Once again, I thank to my friends. I am so sorry for being so stupid and being a rant.

Playing Victim Card

Malang, 22 December 2017

What a good playing victim. Now they are accusing me mocking their belief after they resentfully degrading me.

If they mock other groups or religions, they say they just do what their religion tells them so. But if other groups respond to their hate speeches, they say the other groups has insulted their religion. And they say we deserve to be punished. What a hypocrisy.

I know, they are so holy and saintful that they can never be wrong with their words. They are the owner of this earth and heaven. We, the other groups, are created by their god to fill his hell. He has created a hell and he does not want it to be idle.

Dear God Why Did You Create Me

Malang, 21 December 2017

Dear god,

Why did you create me this way and then you punish me? Why don't you just kill me so I can hear the reason from you directly? Why do you tell them to hate me for the thing you have made me? Do you like to see your creations suffering? Are you psychopathic?

You set the rules of what dos and what don'ts. You have written all the things happened in the past and things that will happen in the future. Everything happens with your grant. Did you intentionally write your human sins and you enjoy watching it?

It's all unfair. It's all irrational. I don't believe in you. Because of you, people are killing each other. Because of you, they hate each other. Do you even exist? Or are you actually just a personification of your human creator? 

If I am Killed by a Disaster

Malang, 21 December 2017

And if I die because of flood, earthquake, volcano eruption, or even on a crash, I still believe it is not because I am a gay.

Everything happens because of a reason, in a logical way. Flood happens when people don't provide adequate drainage system, cut to many trees, cover the earth with too many buildings, or disrupt the weather pattern through global warming.

If I die because of earthquake, tsunami, or volcano, that's because people and I didn't prepare well on mitigating all the risk of living in highly active tectonic plate such as in Indonesia.

And if I die because of any crash, that is because other people or I are not careful enough, or didn't do the duty of care, or neglect the safety procedures or maybe we haven't invented the advanced safety equipment yet.

Will I die because god punishment? Maybe. But who can tell if it is true before they actually die. 

But what I wanna underline here is that, even when someone got a casualty, those "religious bigots" then act as a god by judging the deceased. They put their emphaty aside but judging the dead. They don't realise that they are actually the people who cut the trees, cover the land with buildings, change the climate pattern, ignore the safety procedures etc that eventually cause the disasters.

My Provoking Status

Malang, 21 December 2017

I posted this provoking status and waited how they will react to this post.

And finally one of my really best and supportive friend replied to it (the very bottom one)

She said that I am not supposed to make their belief as a joke.

If only she knows how I have been mocked, judged and degraded by her belief. And now when I fight back, she thinks I am attacking her belief.

It is as if they were the ones who are victimised. They are playing victim. They forget how much hate speech has been posted to attack people like me.

I feel so all alone in this discrimination. And knowing that she is actually in their side makes me feel even lonelier.

She is my teacher. She is really really kind to me. She supports me in any situation. But she does not know my other side that I have been hiding.

I am too afraid to come out. I can't face the reality that they will reject me. I will be so disappointed. I am so depressed in my loneliness.

They never know my struggle. All they know is just judging. They think they know everything so they deserve to judge me.

Now I am feeling so rejected and unloved. I feel so useless. I never be a good boy for them. 

Why do I even exist? Why did their god create me this way? I keep hating myself and hating them. My heart is full of anger and grudge.

I am living as someone I never know. I am dead inside. I don't wanna live anymore. I just wanna go far far away. I hate to being here. :'(

How to Use Your Religion to Punish Others

Malang, 21 Desember 2017

Yes sir, you got that right! Your god is the truest god. Other people's gods do not exist. Everyone should follow your belief. And because of that idea, you have the power to punish other people based on your own religion. You are really smart and tolerant! You are always right! Other people must be wrong!

Fuck you!!!

When Underage Marriage is Supported but Same-Sex Marriage is Rejected

Malang, 21 Desember 2017

How could he support underage marriage, unregistered marriage, and polygamy just because his religion is permitting. And how could he hate same-sex marriage just because of his religion-sentiment. Isn't it showing that his belief is disgusting, immoral, and irrational? Isn't showing how hypocritical they are?

Underage marriage is forbidden because several reasons. Kids cannot make a consent yet. Kids reproduction organs are not developed yet. Kids psychology is not mature yet. Kids cannot support their own economy. Underage marriage leads to poverty, underdevelompent and other household-level to coutry-level problems.

Unregistered marriage can create future problem in legal wise. Women and kids in unregistered marriage are always be the victims. And, polygamy is showing how lust-driven they are. 

And same-sex marriage is rejected by them just because their religion tell them so? Yeah, true. They don't need their brain. They just need bedtime stories to believe and to punish other people. Good job, sir!

*update: I just found this article and the idea is just very similar with mine. https://mojok.co/arman-dhani/komen/kandhani/lgbtq-dibela-kalau-poligami-nikah-siri-dan-nikah-dini-nggak/

Is Homosexuality a Mental Illness?

Malang, 21 December 2017

Meanwhile, those religious bigots keep trying to criminalise homosexuality. And they say the never do discrimination.  But when they lose the fight, they play victim. They say they are victimised. What an obvious hypocrisy.

I am Lonely with My Own Burden

Malang, 20 December 2017

Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10210881874432028&id=1507283728

So they say homosexual is contageous. So they say homosexual is a criminal movement. So they say we are bad people.

So what are we? Did their god really create us? I've denied myself for so long and been breaking my heart so many times.

They don't know what it likes to be me. I have tried so hard to "heal" but always fail. I fake my smile but secretly be hurt to knowing that, people are commenting really really bad swear words to people like me.

I never know why I grew up this way. Then, I see a lot of hypocrisies in the name or religion. They use religion to punish other people and to protect their ego.

I have been a good boy, just because that is who I am. But I am still rejected because I am a gay. I am so sad to know that, it is my friends who posted, liked, and shared the status about anti-LGBT. I am feeling lonely, disappointed, and rejected. 

I wish I die now. I am useless person to this world. But before I die, I will show them if they are wrong.  I can prove them that I can be a person much better than them.

I am sad.

I feel lonely with my own burden.

They judge me.

I am disappointed.

I hate them.

I feel deceived.

LGBT Ridicule

Malang, 16 December 2017

Here is another example of person who has been blinded by his religion to hate people like us for no reason but old bedtime story in their holy book.

I am super sad about it. I felt so rejected. I did nothing wrong. I never know why I grow like this. It is just like anyone, straights or homosexuals, all comes naturally. Why do they hate me just because the thing that I can't choose. They never know how hard it is for me trying so hard to live as someone else as they want, fake myself, and receive prejudices and ridicules, no matter how good I am to be as a son, as a pupil, as a friend, as a brother? I am feeling lonely and deceived.

And they were trying to match the acceptance of LGBT with the earthquake last night as a condemn from their god.

But then for criticising their ridiculous logic, I changed it into:

As someone who put my brain as a priority to think and consider, I would say, we live in fault line, so it is pretty normal to have earthquake regularly. Knowing that fact, we should built anti-earthquake structures. Why do they always hide behind "the acts of God" excuses? 

Indonesia High Court Rejects LGBT Criminalisation

Malang, 15 December 2017

Indonesia's High Court has just denied the proposal to criminalise LGBT and sex-before-marriage. This results in various responses from Indonesians, including from those Islam fundamentalists. Here are some screenshots of my friend's responses.

He's an example of intolerant muslims in Indonesia. I have written so many times about people like him on my blog. He thinks his religion or belief is fully legitimate to control others' personal life. He thinks he and his people are the owner of this earth and the universe and the heaven. He thinks his rules must apply to other people as well.

Must I argue with these people? No! They have blinded their rational mind replaced by religious indoctrination. Meanwhile they behave hypocritically. And they are proud of it since they did it in the name of their religion. This is why I lost my faith to my own religion. It is because of people like them.