Malang, 21 December 2017
I posted this provoking status and waited how they will react to this post.
And finally one of my really best and supportive friend replied to it (the very bottom one)
She said that I am not supposed to make their belief as a joke.
If only she knows how I have been mocked, judged and degraded by her belief. And now when I fight back, she thinks I am attacking her belief.
It is as if they were the ones who are victimised. They are playing victim. They forget how much hate speech has been posted to attack people like me.
It is as if they were the ones who are victimised. They are playing victim. They forget how much hate speech has been posted to attack people like me.
I feel so all alone in this discrimination. And knowing that she is actually in their side makes me feel even lonelier.
She is my teacher. She is really really kind to me. She supports me in any situation. But she does not know my other side that I have been hiding.
I am too afraid to come out. I can't face the reality that they will reject me. I will be so disappointed. I am so depressed in my loneliness.
They never know my struggle. All they know is just judging. They think they know everything so they deserve to judge me.
Now I am feeling so rejected and unloved. I feel so useless. I never be a good boy for them.
Why do I even exist? Why did their god create me this way? I keep hating myself and hating them. My heart is full of anger and grudge.
I am living as someone I never know. I am dead inside. I don't wanna live anymore. I just wanna go far far away. I hate to being here. :'(
