Sydney 17 May 2017
I cannot stay focus on studying. I'm still feeling blue since I watched Sydney Film Festival few days ago. The story has made me feel that I am missing someone to love. There's an emptiness inside my heart now. I'm missing to be cuddled, to be hugged, to be kissed. I am just sad.
Meanwhile, I am now having a crush to a guy I met during summer break in Indonesia. It has been few months for me to know him now but still, it is too short time to talk my feeling to him. I'm just afraid if I lose him. I just can't stop thinking of him.
I started to search more about his profile on internet. I would say I am pretty good in gathering someone's information on internet. He may hide his information or set it into private, but his friends may not. I can easily trace all his life story from his friends' social media. I don't know whether or not it is ethical or whether or not it is annoying for him, but this is a method that is used by companies to collect their customers profile, and I have that experience.
I found a lot of his old pics which are cute and his old conversations with his ex which are so sweet. I will not ask him anything about it since it is too personal and probably he may not be willing his story to be exposed. And probably I am too sassy and doing too far and crossing someone's privacy. And probably, he does not want to remember his love story with his ex.
Reading through his stories makes me even sadder. I can tell how they had a beautiful romance. I feel so envious to them for having a sweet love story. But then, (this also a question for myself) how can a love that we thought will last forever, that we thought was a true love, suddenly turns off and gone. Where is the love gone?
What I hope I can learn from here is how I should respect someone since they must have been through a rough life, a bitter sweet life.
