Have you ever had a mind that you are really afraid to harm your life and other people's life around you but at the same time you want to kill yourself or you like to watch people dying?
Today I accompanied my friend to do inspection in an apartment across Sydney Hyde Park. The unit is on 24th floor and the view from the top is breathtaking. However when I stood on the balcony, there was an invisible force inside my mind that drags me into the edge of the balcony and tells me to jump over the railing. However, at the same time, my sanity says the balcony is so dangerous that if I lose my mind I can just jump over the fence without thinking twice and kill myself. Thus if the unit were mine, I would definitely put safety net on that balcony.
I don't want in die in a silly and stupid way. I always feel so deeply regretful when I know some people just die in dumb ways. I always keep saying that they could have just lived now if only they didn't do those stupid things. Life is so precious and once we lost it, we could not get it back (at least for now). Thus, I will not let myself to die in stupid ways, since it will hurt people who love me so much.
